Jews To The Left Of Me, Muslims To The Right, Here I Am, Stuck In The Middle With You.

As a Christian, I REALLY Have No Dog In This Fight, So Stop Trying To Draw Me In To It!

Last time I checked, when it comes to Religious Wars, I’m on “Team Jesus Christ”, not any of the other ones…

The Jews call me Goyim, and the Muslims call me an Infidel, and I’m just like “Both of you heathens are going to Hell, so I don’t care what you call me!”

So, here is my suggestion- (this is going to sound familiar, but it’s all I’ve got, so take it for what it’s worth)

If you want my help, and help from the rest of the Christian World, all that you need to do is renounce your faith, becomes a Christian, get Baptised, eat the flesh of Christ, drink the blood of Christ, and commit your everlasting soul toward His worship, and whiz bang boom, I’m on your side!

Easy, peasy, Japaneasy!

Isn’t that pretty much the same as your rules? Convert?

I really will welcome you into the Brotherhood of Christ.

Also, and this is the best part, once you’ve renounced Judaism and/or Islam, and become a True Believer of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, (and stop being a bound for Hell heathen and Satan worshipper), YOU won’t have to take part in the Religious War between the Jews and Muslims anymore, because you’ll no longer be on one of their teams anymore, you be one of the good guys, that gets to go to Heaven!

Isn’t that better than whatever pagan stuff you believe right now?

We only have Ten Commandments, One God, and a single Holy Book. It’s all pretty simple, and we don’t have any of those weird rules like you two do.

We get to wear normal clothes, have whatever haircuts or beards that we choose, can get married, have children, and our entire lineage has the chance to make it into Heaven.

Besides all of that, I’m pretty sure that the anti-Christ will be appearing any day now, and I hate to see the billions of you end up in Hell after Jesus returns.

Remember- The first time as a lamb, the next time as a lion.

It’s a good time to get right with God, that is, if you expect any help from me.

Otherwise, if we are having a new religious war, none of you people are in my religion, so if that’s how we are deciding the teams, I’m out!